Thursday, December 17, 2009

Words of Wisdom from My Buddy Murphy

One of the cool things about my colleges is that every Fall they have a giant poster sale on the steps of our student center. They have some really good gems, on occasion, and while I managed to stay away from the poster of men sitting eating lunch on a beam high above NYC, I couldn't, because of my personal luck, pass up a poster titled Murphy's Law and not regret it.

I would like to share some of Murph's wisdom with you.

Remember: He was an optimist (much like myself). My favorites are in bold.

A short cut is the longest distance between two points.

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Leakproof seals - Will. Self starters - Will Not.

If you try to please everybody, nobody will like you.

Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.

Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.

In order to get a loan, you must first prove that you don't need it.

The chance of a piece of bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

A $300 picture tube will protect a 10 cents fuse by blowing first.

Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought.

If it jams - Force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

If you fool around with a thing for very long you will screw it up.

Any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll underneath to the exact center.

In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there.

No one's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.

No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

You will always find something in the last place you look.

The other lines always moves faster.

Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.

A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth.

Everybody should believe in something - I believe I'll have another drink.

If you're interested in buying a Murphy's Law poster, you can follow this link to Amazon and purchase one for yourself. (Note: This isn't the specific one that I have, but there are many to choose from and probably carry some similar sayings and some different ones.)

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"The difference between life and the movies is that a script has to make sense, and life doesn't."

-Joseph L. Mankiewicz