Tuesday, April 27, 2010


It's funny. The title, that is. Because I sure as shit don't feel like it right now.

For one thing I'm incubating a head cold. For another, I can't really sit up straight right now - my digestive system is running rampant and it's just downright painful in a way that I haven't had to deal with in a very long time. And I'm at a little bit of a loss as to how to deal with it, because it's intense. And I just want to curl up and sleep for about twelve hours (honestly, but I can't do that, because I have this lesson plan that I need to finish for tomorrow because I'm teaching it) and maybe invest in a hot water bottle. Or a heating pad. Anything to make it so that I can sit up straight at the moment and not look like I'm going to permanently damage my spine in my chair.

My nose is runny, I'm hacking up a lung to a point that reminds me of my Whooping Cough days (but not there yet, and hopefully not again), and I can't really breathe through my nose. My lips are chapped, flaky, crusty, and downright disgusting. I'm so bloated that I could pass as pregnant. If anything, I feel the complete opposite of the title of this post.

What made me feel slightly better?

Well, my sister is probably going to attempt to disown me for watching Glee (to which I blame my last perspective because she watched it, and now I'm watching it) and the song they did at the end, during their "pep rally" thing - after which the episode was spent about an upcoming reporter coming to do a piece on the cheerleading squad in which they wanted one girl to drop about ten pounds in one week (again, reminiscent of my Whooping Cough days) and in the end they realized, as people really should at that age (and my age, because it's something that people still struggle with) that people are beautiful the way they are.

So they sang Beautiful.

And I'm not going to lie it made my day a little better. I feel pretty shitty right now, health wise, considering that I keep breaking into random cursing because my belly thinks it needs to stab itself from the inside, and I'm wheezing. Especially when I sleep. Makes me wish I was home so the cat and I could sleep and wheeze together.

However. I'm currently 40 miles from home (and Pepper, the cat, and Corona [yes, most likely named after the beer, but you would have to ask my sister] the dog), still feeling like crap and occasionally barking like an asthmatic seal and more or less have to do this on my own. Lovely.

I got Ruby (the bear) and Edgar (whatever the hell he is, we're still trying to figure that out, but we do know that he's green and fluffy) and a dorm bed currently calling my name. And above all, I have the knowledge somewhere in my brain that to someone out there - and to myself right now - I am beautiful in ways that aren't necessarily evident at the moment.

Or maybe it's because of that that I am beautiful. I'll leave that up to you to decide.

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"The difference between life and the movies is that a script has to make sense, and life doesn't."

-Joseph L. Mankiewicz