I feel like I'm standing on the edge of something, looking out and looking down.
There's no safety nets. There's no parachute strapped to my back. It's just me, this edge, and feeling like I'm leaving something behind to gain something that I can't see. I know some of the things that I'm going to gain over the course of tomorrow and the next three months - perspective, new horizons to explore, and new people to meet and be shaped by. I might even finish my novel while I'm over there. Or I might start a new story.
What I know I'm going to start is a new chapter of me. There's going to be the start of a new section - like going to college was the start of something, not a continuation of what was.
This is one of those times when you really have to look at what you're gaining and not overly at what you're losing. And it's really hard. It's stepping completely out of your comfort zone into something new and exciting and different. Something that could be dangerous as well as adventurous.
And sometimes the line between the two isn't as defined as we'd like to think it is.
I'm going to leave what I know, and head for something I've never seen in my life. And as much as I wander, as much as I adventure - this makes me appropriately leery. I'm excited. Really, I am. I'm just...I'm standing at an edge I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to tip over yet.
It'll be like standing at an airplane gate, not quite sure you're really ready to walk through.
But whether or not you think you're ready, you're going to do it anyway. Step a little closer to the edge. Take a deep breath.
And free fall.